Yoss
Yoss by Odo HirschThis book was OK. Yesterday my attention kept on wavering from it, but that might be because I'm ill, not because the book was bad. There wasn't really anything to grap my attention, though...I mean, the characters were kind of stupid. There
was stuff I wasn't expecting, but I wasn't like "OMG!! I never knew
that would happen!", because I really didn't
care what would happen to stupid Yoss. And the ending kind of annoyed me for some reason.
So the story is that in this village, for a boy to become a man, he must spend a night in the mountains. This comes from some stupid tradition that came about from when guys had to go into the town to acquire new skills, and they'd come back and help the village. So, yadda yadda yadda, Yoss, idiot that he is, actually
goes out into the wild world even though it's just some stupid symbol. And, of course, he gets into all sorts of trouble ALL OF HIS OWN FAULT. Didn't really like it.
Uurrhhh...
So, this has been...neglected, to say the least. So, I'll just try and remeber which books were on the floor when I went out this nmorning and review them.
Sara's Face by Melvin BurgessOK, I know Melvin Burgess is supposed to be some sort of literary genius, but I don't like him. In fact, his books are morbidly boring. But, I picked up this one, expecting...something? Well, this was so boring. Predictable. Boring. Is this suposed to be a thriller or something? Coulda fooled me. Plus, it has a seriously
rubbish ending.
Basically---arrrggghhh!!!!!! I can't say anything! I'll give the plot away! I hate books like that! Read it if there is a book shortage. Or maybe if you get shut up away from the library and this is the ONLY book. OK,
I suppose I'll let you read if you're bored. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Because I did.
Love Lessons
Love Lessons by Jacqueline WilsonJacqueline Wilson is one of my favourite authors, ever. Her books are fabbity-fab. (Sorry, she's just so cool she requires some made-up word!) But this one is quite unlike the others. I adore this book, it has millions of twists and turns, and, unlike most romances I read (ocassionaly. VERY ocasionally) I wasn't laughing all the time, because this was more then just a romance. This book is about Prudence who's 14 who has been homeschooled since she was small by her paranoid over-controlling dad. When Prudence and her sister, Grace have to go to school, it's quite a shock. For one thing, Prue was always considered the brain of the family, but soon finds that she doesn't really know anything except how to paint. So, two times a week she finds refuge in Mr Raxberry's art class, and soon finds herself baby-sitting for him. This turns out to be a mistake, because they soon get really close...
The Ruby in the Smoke
The Ruby in the Smoke by Philip PullmanEverybody seems to love Philip Pullmans novels. Except me. I
adored Northern Lights, but
The Subtle Knife was a bit wearisome while
The Amber Spyglass was downright silly. But, because I didn't have anything else to read, I tried Mr Pullman again.
Now there's a mistake I won't make again.
The Ruby in the Smoke is pretty ludicrous---drugs, rewards, gangs, and oh yeah, it's set in the 19th century. You know, if these books were published as adults' books, they'd be dismissed as trash and would be right beside the Mills & Boons.
But, because they're kids books and by a guy who wrote one good book, they're declared great. Why?
This books seems like some silly thriller that you'd buy for 2.50 while buying some milk. I mean,
come on, there's opium, there's smuggling, there's betrayal, there is many other things that make this pulp fiction.
And, for some reason, Mr Pullman gets away with writing it, for some reason gets away with declaring it as some sort of YA adventure story, reviewers are too afraid to say it's bad, because this is, after all,
Philip Pullman.So it should be good, right?
Wrong. Philip Pullman, if you're reading, withdraw your stupid Sally Lockhart books as supposed YA books and start selling them beside the milk where they belong.
Cats For Dummies
Cats For DummiesAs a self-confessed cat servant, I'm always looking for books on cats. So, when I find
Cats for Dummies at the library, I immediately checked it out. Unlike most books for cat
owners slaves, you could tell the authors
actually had cats. I've had my cat for...a
long time, so I quickly bypassed the getting a cat chapters, and moved onto the other stuff. It covers getting a cat, the kitty litter (I'm so glad our cat is an indoor/outdoor one and doesn't need a litterbox), cat toys (FREE ONES!), and cat behaviour. Unfortunately, the chapter on giving your cat medicene was no use...*sigh* The part of tens, with ten cat quotes (there were definitely more then 10!) was especially funny. Especially this one:
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff."
So, so true.
The V Club
The V Club by Kate BrianThis may be one of the worst books I've ever read. It's got a really bad writing style, no plot whatsoever, is full of fluff, and is just downright stupid. In other words, I hate it.
So, when details of a mysterious new scholarship arise, everyone's interested.
But, there's a condition: the winner must be of absolute purity of mind and sprit.
Which everyone takes to mean no hanky-panky.
So, will the new girl, the biggest slut in school, the girl who's never been kissed, the rich girl and the other girls prove themselves to be "pure"?
They're not sure. So, they set up "The Virgin Club". (It reminds me of that movie, what's it called?
The Virgin Suicides? I've never seen it, but it sounds like the same title. Whatever.)
Is this book supposed to be contraversial? A light read? About love? Isn't doing
any of the above. It's too full of stupid details (like: "
Debbie took out a silver tube of Clinque lipgloss, applying a immaculate shade of Black Honey." Who CARES?!) to be contraversial. To boring to be a light read. And espite the authors efforts, this isn't some sort of bizarre romance. My advice? Don't read it.
Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince
I've read this book about ten times, and I'm still not tired of it. It's so good that the first time I read it, it took only a day! So, just in case you're one of the, oh, 5 people who haven't read it, I won't put up any spoilers.
So, now Harry's 16, and he's studying for his N.E.W.T.s. Well, when he's not battling evil and playing quidditch that is. Of course, Voldemort is on. The. Loose. (AARRGGHH!!) So everyone is in extreme panic. We discover Snape has
serious issues, and gasp at the many twists and turns.
Many Stones
Many Stones by Caroline Noman
Ugh. This book is so worthy. I really hate worthy books. I mean, in the space of seven days she forgives everyone who’s done something bad to her. Puh-lease! I still haven’t forgiven that girl who stole my cherry when I was two, and I’m supposed to believe this girl forgives all the wrongs of the world? Sure.
So, Berry is this total freak who’s sister dies, and she puts stones on top of her to stop her "floating away". Right. As I said, she’s a freak. A total and utter freak. So, then she goes to a memorial service for her sister with her dad. (One of those people she forgives.) The service is in South Africa, and she meets all sorts of people. Whom she thinks what the author thinks are "profound thoughts". In fact, it’s just really boring. If you want to be bored to death, this is the book for you!!
The Mediator 6
The Mediator 6 by Meg Cabot.The road to a good relationship is filled with potholes, right? Unfortunately, one of them is that Suzes' boyfriend, Jesse, just happens to be a ghost.
In the latest (and last) installment of
The Mediator, Suze has to battle with evil guy Paul, high school, her annoying brother Brad, and of course, Paul threatening not to let Jesse die at all...
This book is great. I though that the 5th one was worse then the others, but this one is, by far, the best. There's weird ghostly adventures, and maybe, just maybe, a happy ending...
But seriously, you will so not believe the twist it takes at the end.
Actually, you won't see
any of the twists and turns coming.
Bad Kitty
Bad Kitty by Michele JaffeOK, I love this book. There's lipgloss and mysteries and fashion and cute boys. What's not to like? I read it earlier today and now I'm reading it again. That is how good it is. So, Jas goes on holidays to Las Vegas with her overprotective dad, Sherri!, her stepmother and her trusted cowboy boots. But, wouldn't you know it, Jasmine gets in trouble.
Again.
Somehow she manages to get embroiled in a mystery, and from there it's a blur of lipgloss, deadly cowboy boots, pink vans and Evil Hench People. Go read it, as in now, it's totally Visa.
(You'll get it when you read it.)
